Jersey Shore | “We Fucking Love You”

A love note to Jersey Shore and its impossibly amoral/irrational/self-involved cast (and realistically the show’s editors).

The people that populate the Jersey Shore are the worst people on earth or are the most honest representation of people since the Ancient Romans. They are decadent and overly sexualized and the only true concern they have revolves around their vanity. Lives filled with a daily agenda of working at a boardwalk shop leading up to the inevitable nightly booze and ‘creeping’. ‘Creeping’ an apt if not overly revealing description of nightly activities involving the picking up of ladies. The term creeping seems very honest seeing that grown men are attempting to convince women who are not in there proper state in order to have hot tub time with them. Creeping seems to be the New Jersey equivalent of asshole who takes advantage of young women who have had too much to drink.

The first time ‘The Situation’ actually bags a lady friend of his in the house’s hot tube only he does so while a house mate watches with another woman. But that is beside the point, the girl that was a little bit lit at the club was lubricated further with a bottle of champagne, so much so that after the water sports have ended she stumbled and fell while walking down some steps into the house. Classy?
Jersey Shore is either the most explicit example of a culture that revolves around the pleasures of excess the likes of which has not been seen since the reason behind the invention of the Roman amphitheater’s vomitorium. Or it’s just the result of a group of people who were captured on camera while on vacation doing things they would not be doing in another situation. It would be unfair to judge the cast of Jersey Shore solely based on how they appear to behave on the show and rather take what you’ve seen and chalk it up to MTV’s editing room and a few weeks of youthful drunken debauchery.

Here's what we love about the show:

Post-Drinking meals and the confused conversations ensue.

The obvious confusion the cast has in understanding the term classy. Can you judge what is classy when you yourself are nowhere near qualified to make that distinction?

Male vanity and female violence. Who knew it was ok to assault other people as long as you are a girl. And when did it become the norm for men to spend more time refining their bodies and clothing choices than their female counterparts?

Top Midseason Shows To Watch In 2010

The midseason has some pretty good shows on both network and cable. There are some series premieres and returning shows that are worth a look, if you didn‘t know about them already. So here is the list of the top shows to begin in midseason 2010.

1. Human Target

The top of the list is promising little show called Human Target. This is a concept show brought to us by Fox in which every episode plays out like an action movie. It has great cast: Mark Valley from Fringe and Boston Legal, Chi McBride from Pushing Daisies, and Jackie Earle Haley from Watchmen. It looks to be good popcorn fun with its action and explosions. The only thing could go wrong with this show is if it’s budget is cut in the future, since it relies on the expensive looking action.

2. Party Down

This underrated HBO comedy follows a catering service comprised of failed and aspiring actors, comedians, and writers from party to party. Entering its second season, Party Down is a very funny dark comedy, and although it takes a few episodes to get used to it, there is a lot of payoff.

3. Treme

Musicians in New Orleans. Doesn’t sound too compelling, but it is made by The Wire creators and stars the actor who played “Bunk” on it, who was arguably the greatest character of the series. So, good to check it out.

4. Lost

It’s supposedly the final season and the secrets will be revealed. Why not watch it?

5. 24

I don’t know about you people, but I need my Jack Bauer fix, and I definitely need to see him kill one thousand people in one day.

6. Breaking Bad

It’s a very interesting drama about a meth cooking duo. It has great acting and story. The third season should be good since the last one ended with Walt (the meth cooker) inadvertently causing a plane crash and many deaths.

7. Sons of Tucson

A group of kids hire a slacker to pretend to be their father to avoid foster care. This new comedy stars the man who played Sock on Reaper. Since that character was great and he seems to be playing the exact same one in this show, it’s worth checking out.

8. Southland

This gritty police drama which was recently dropped it network and then picked up by TNT is re-airing the first season before the new one, but the more explicit cable version of the first season. Now that it’s on a cable network, Southland should offer a lot to it’s viewers.

9. Justified

Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood) stars as another sheriff in a small town, but this time its set in modern times. It’s Deadwood in a contemporary setting.

Not very good shows to watch: Chuck, The Tudors, Caprica

Steven Seagal’s Lawman | What Do You Want See In Future Episodes of Lawman

Is anyone else loving the shit out of Steven Seagal’s Lawman? “That’s right… Steven Seagal.” I just caught up on some older episodes and man there is just something entertaining about Steven Seagal as a real life ‘reserve’ sheriff. And I know what it is that makes this show so fun to watch. Seagal is a weirdo, that’s right he’s stSteven Seagal Collection: 4 Film Favorites - Under Siege / The Glimmer Man / Above the Law / Fire Down Belowrange. No one ever said that actors in general were everyday salt of the earth type people. They have to be kind of strange otherwise we wouldn’t want to watch them so much. According to Seagal he has been training dogs to fight since he was a child for ‘protection’. And in the episode where the lawman was working with a new dog, training him to attach along side another dog that Seagal has had since he was a pup, Seagal makes it a point to say that the dogs need to get used to him being aggressive towards a home invader. Then they ran through an exercise where Seagal, and his two German Sheppard’s collectively attack one of the dog trainers. It wasn’t exactly the perfect display of a man/beast killing machine but it was still fun to watch.

There is another thing which is very funny about Seagal’s interactions with the community that he helps police. Every time he and his crew of geriatric auxiliary police officers pull over an African America man, once the detainee recognizes Seagal they always insist that they don’t like his movies but some old female family member does. “My grandma she loves you”, “My wife… she loves your movies, she has them all”, I take it that older African-American women have a real Steven Seagal fetish. Maybe, it is just a way for the people he pulls over to bust his balls a bit, or there is a secret society of elderly African-American women dedicated to the film catalogue of Steven Seagal. These are the things that keep us coming back and watching more of the Lawman in action. Who knows what else will be revealed about the mysterious Steven Seagal by this show?

What we would like to see in future episodes of Lawman:

• Mr. Seagal in a firefight with an armed assailant

• Mr. Seagal getting into an unarmed fight with an assailant

• Mr. Seagal running after an assailant

• Here more weird stories from his past, in particular the one about him getting into a fight with Jean-claude van dam at Sylvester Stallone’s house back in 1997 (It happened people and I want to hear about it)

• Steven Seagal’s family, is anyone else interested in seeing his family, he always says that he is a family man but we have only seen his dogs. Are his dogs the family he is talking about? Or, this is our theory… every member of his family has a ponytail, and that’s why they won’t show them on the show, I’m sure of it. Hopefully a future episode will confirm these suspicions of a ponytail filled family tree.