Jersey Shore | “We Fucking Love You”

A love note to Jersey Shore and its impossibly amoral/irrational/self-involved cast (and realistically the show’s editors).

The people that populate the Jersey Shore are the worst people on earth or are the most honest representation of people since the Ancient Romans. They are decadent and overly sexualized and the only true concern they have revolves around their vanity. Lives filled with a daily agenda of working at a boardwalk shop leading up to the inevitable nightly booze and ‘creeping’. ‘Creeping’ an apt if not overly revealing description of nightly activities involving the picking up of ladies. The term creeping seems very honest seeing that grown men are attempting to convince women who are not in there proper state in order to have hot tub time with them. Creeping seems to be the New Jersey equivalent of asshole who takes advantage of young women who have had too much to drink.

The first time ‘The Situation’ actually bags a lady friend of his in the house’s hot tube only he does so while a house mate watches with another woman. But that is beside the point, the girl that was a little bit lit at the club was lubricated further with a bottle of champagne, so much so that after the water sports have ended she stumbled and fell while walking down some steps into the house. Classy?
Jersey Shore is either the most explicit example of a culture that revolves around the pleasures of excess the likes of which has not been seen since the reason behind the invention of the Roman amphitheater’s vomitorium. Or it’s just the result of a group of people who were captured on camera while on vacation doing things they would not be doing in another situation. It would be unfair to judge the cast of Jersey Shore solely based on how they appear to behave on the show and rather take what you’ve seen and chalk it up to MTV’s editing room and a few weeks of youthful drunken debauchery.

Here's what we love about the show:

Post-Drinking meals and the confused conversations ensue.

The obvious confusion the cast has in understanding the term classy. Can you judge what is classy when you yourself are nowhere near qualified to make that distinction?

Male vanity and female violence. Who knew it was ok to assault other people as long as you are a girl. And when did it become the norm for men to spend more time refining their bodies and clothing choices than their female counterparts?